what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
