No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
