been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
