It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
