so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just had sex bonerless
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
