When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
