Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
