He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
