She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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