You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
