marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize