Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
