You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
