is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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