There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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