How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
