Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
