I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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