im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
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