I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
