It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
