id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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