Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Randomize