He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
