We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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