babies were throwing up all over the place
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
True college students do jello shots in the library
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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