Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
