When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
