I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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