I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
