Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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