Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
