Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
