I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
