Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
how drunk are you?
Several
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
