i just wanna soil my oats bro
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
