Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize