mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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