In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
