You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
handjob tips. give me some.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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