i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
