It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
