I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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