there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
