if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
