Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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