I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
God, I missed his penis.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
