dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
