I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
