What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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