So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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