Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm both gender and math confused
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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