I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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