Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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