We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
