I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
