Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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