THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
