We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize