I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
