....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
