I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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