Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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