So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
3pm strippers are depressing
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
