....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
