Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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