i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
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alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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