I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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