I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
