New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
