i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
