I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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