Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
