Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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