If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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