how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
