Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize