her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
