i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
