also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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