apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
