yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
