She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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